Wednesday, October 31, 2007

halloween curmudgeon

My sister and I were listing the reasons we really dislike this holiday. Not all parts--I like jack-'o-lanterns and skeletons. But, there are parts that seem to irritate me more every year.

#1 irritant: trick-or-treaters
First, we did not grow up trick-or-treating--on the farm; there was no place to go! We would carve a pumpkin, make caramel apples, and that was about it. Also, being reformed, the whole thing was about Reformation Day and the 95 theses.

Now I get over 300 trick-or-treaters every year. I run out of candy no matter how much I buy and how much I appropriate out of my kids' take. A few of us neighbors have sent out our too old kids out to trick-or-treat just to refill our own bowls! When I put out my light, they keep ringing my doorbell. Our dear departed Rudy the Beagle hated this day as much as the 4th of July.

#2 irritant: costumes
When Paul was 3 I made a brown bat costume for him. He wore it several years before he figured out he could dress as something else. I pulled the same thing on Eve and then Seth. That costume was worn at least 9 years.
Beth hates costumes because, as a teacher, they only led to problems in the classroom.

#3 irritant: ghoulish decorations
I'm ok with skulls, bats, and spider webs. I don't get the blood and moldering flesh and especially, a body hanging from a noose. My neighbor Anne's boys had a mask that would squirt blood--after scaring her daughter one too many times; she punctured it and put it in the trash in the alley.

So, is there an equivalent of Scrooge for Halloween?
The only thing that could get me out of this rant would be someone coming along with a Twin Bing from the wonderful Palmer Candy Company in Sioux City, Iowa.


Gypsy Quilter said...

Consider moving to my neighborhood. Absolutely no trick or treaters. There are a few spiders and spider webs though. Even more if you walk outside.

camillaknits said...

my favorite candy in the whole world is bing bars... I order them directly from the factory, but they only ship during the cooler months (unless you pay big bucks for next-day) The last box of thirty-six cost me twenty bucks, and I hoarded/ate all but six of them. Possibly we were separated at birth... Twin Bings are definately not to everyone's taste(I do not understand those people, but...) just seeing their happy little packaging made my day. Thanks! Cami (a former N.W. Iowa-girl)

Elaine Adair said...

One suggestion, turn out your lights.

Other suggestion, about too much candy. (forgive me Lord) .. if it appears I am running low on candy, when the kids are at the door, I take a small handful from my basket, and put my hand IN the kiddos bag (if it's full) and actually GRAB some of theirs and put it back in MY basket. Hey, it works for me! And after all, that's too much candy for kids!

Anonymous said...


GREAT entry. Ditto on all points except for the part about the bing bars--never had one--but since I've never met a candy bar I didn't like, it would probably take me out of my rant, too!

Two of my pet peeves: parents trick or treating for their too-tired kids (or kids not old enough to know what's going on) and trick or treaters whose voices have changed--hey, kids, go pick up some girls...


Darcie said...

I'm right there with you! And I'll bring the Twin Bings, too! lol

Mama Koch said...

I'm right there with ya! I think there's too much commercial pushing for every holiday. Why can't things be simple?!

paula, the quilter said...

No Halloween at my house either. This year there were 5 trick-or-treaters. Next year I'm going to save some money and not buy candy -- just give out pennies. Watch. I'll be deluged with the little varmits. No decorations either. I put up Harvest decorations that cover the full season. Whats a Bing?

Slim Johnson said...

We just had Sweetest day and then Halloween -- sweet overload day. Mars, Hershey and Twin Bings -- still, I never like Halloween as a kid. I don't need an excuse for my chocolate. Steve

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

Love the pink strings.
You could just move toAustralia, no real Halloween and very nice!!! Tracey

Carol E. said...

I'm not crazy about Halloween, either. At least the hype is fairly short lived. We made it through another one, and this year I got to see my great nieces and great nephew. They were sooo excited and very cute in their costumes.

Jenni @ Fairybread said...

We do not celebrate Halloween in Australia, but as happens with everything eventually, some people try to American-ize us, and there were some children trick or treating here this year. But they put up a list at the jetty and anyone who was willing to welcome them put down their name. The next morning I was walking the dogs (2 beagles BTW) with a friend, when we noticed a trail of lollies up the road. We wondered, then it hit us what had no doubt been going on the night before. Someone left half their stash on the road!